Breaking Dawn

Proclaimer: I was, and still am to some extent, an avid fan of both the twilight novels and films. Therefore, I am not simply a cynical twilight hating 40 year old critic. Therefore, what I say will probably be the reaction of the twilight fans like myself. This does not include fanatic 14 year olds who pretend they’re vampires in their spare time.

I am completely, utterly, 100% shocked and disgusted at the decision to rate the next addition to the Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn a 12A. Everyone who I was watching it with were just as shocked and we have decided to warn people seeing it that there may be some scenes that can be disturbing, especially as children as young as five are allowed to view it.

Not only would five year olds be traumatised by the last half hour, but no loving parent would put them through the anguish of how awful the acting is in this film. As the acting ability of the cast has seemed to dramatically reduced in each film it is unsurprising that it has hit an all time low. The most disappointing of them all were Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Alice (Ashley Greene). It is simply horrendous and what would induce a skilful actor such as Billy Burke to be part of this baffles me.

Then there was the most awkward and traumatising sex scene I have seen in my life. Whoever cast Kristen Stewart should be sued immediately as her acting abilities consist of one gnarled facial expression and she can not articulate her words properly. Also, never have I seen either Edward or Bella smile, you’re meant to be in love for goodness sake! In the book I imagined the sex scene to be a (literally) ground-breaking, room-shaking spectacle, whereas the film gave us a few impassioned kisses and the bed frame breaking, not from mere thrusting power but, from Edward grabbing it. This is all we see. Don’t imagine I wanted, or expected, to see a graphic, rampant, 5 minute long sex scene but I felt the lead up overshadowed what could have been a display of the sheer power of vampires over humans.

Then she got pregnant. Which meant the rest of the film had to be slow, boring and vile as she became drained of energy and looked even more skeletal (more so than she was to begin with!!) every minute. The CGI is very believable but it also makes it very disturbing as we watch Kristen become anorexic thin. Then comes the labour. The first sign of this is her spine and leg breaking (sound effects included) and then a blurry scene of blood, biting and screaming as the demon child is ripped out of her stomach.

The most disturbing part is yet to come as we are left to believe our now cadaverous Bella is dead with her eyes wide open and mouth agape while Edward pounds her chest to revitalise her. It was all truly unexpected.

I hope this pre-warning will make the film a little less distressing to you and any twilight fans should not be put off from it. Seeing as tragic acting is synonymous with Twilight, no one will be disappointed on that front. That is why I give it a not quite ripe as although it was shocking and badly written, I was never bored (though that may be I am a deluded twilight fan). Enjoy!

Picture from: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/twilighters/images/15586503/title/breaking-dawn-photo

Tower Heist

Do not, under any circumstances, go into Tower Heist thinking it is a comedy. It is not. With the cast that it has you would have thought that it was but the sprinkling of laughable moments makes it mainly an action film rather than a comedy. If you are armed with that piece of information on entering the film, you will enjoy it.

The storyline is basic but enjoyable and the surprising moment during the heist leads to a rather amusing situation. Eddie Murphy and Ben Stiller make a great leading relationship with the stereotypical criminal black guy and the too trusting white guy. However, I feel that this stereotype fell slightly flat at times and it didn’t create as much humour as it potentially could have. As did many of the other clichéd characters and the basic storyline was sometimes a tad too basic.

Though it was an easy and nice watch, I felt that it was by no means a film I would spend £10 to see. I also wouldn’t recommend buying it on DVD either, but if it’s on sky movies at some point then you might as well. It was, I have to say, a bit of a raisin.